Dean’s musing about the wrong things we’ve told our kids about life and pretty much I agree with him.
I’d like to expand on one topic a little. He’s talking about marriage and finding your soulmate, and I wonder if finding the right person to marry and live with is not so much a case of finding the right person, but keeping the one you’ve got.
I’ve seen amazing things happen for couples who, when they go through a rough patch as marriages inevitably do, decide that divorce is not the answer. Society has made giving up on ourselves too easy, and then it’s too hard to get back and try for another somebody. Meanwhile the divorce process has made an enemy out of the person who didn’t seem perfect enough at the time to continue with, and the dating business – starting all over – is often not something that fits in with making a living and raising kids, as it’s an awful lot of trouble, from what I’ve seen.
Too many who get divorced never remarry, and I really don’t think people are designed to live alone.
Another thing is that once you’ve got kids, even if you’re married and have a stable relationship, the temptation is strong to let the village raise them while you’re out working to cover the mortgage on a house that’s too much for your needs, and that nobody gets to see much anyway.
So much trouble could be avoided by simply having somebody around when a kid needs somebody. I’m not talking about a nanny, either. It’s mom and dad that are the only ones who have the magic effect of being a help to their kids by their mere presence.
Any relationship, be it husband/wife or parent/child, needs to be nurtured to be really good.