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The DLJ Goes Dark

11-26-06 3:45 A GMT-07

This will be my last post here at the DLJ blog. My decision to discontinue posting here is actually far more positive than it may seem. That’s because my current situation will allow me to focus on the thing that got me into activism and publishing the DLJ in the first place.

There are others who are quite ably covering the issues, such as Teri Stoddard, Wendy McElroy, and of course, Men’s News Daily and Mensactivism

The hundreds of good people all over the world I’ve met in the years since the DLJ was first launched (in 2001 as an e-mailed newsletter) have all taught me a lot, and given me the tools which I can use to effectively run a program that provides practical help for a group of people that sorely need it.

There are far too many of those who’ve helped along the way to list by name but my gratitude for each and every one of you is boundless.

I will be focusing my efforts on setting up a program for abused men in my local area of Yuma, Arizona. Under the auspices of the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women, I will establish first an online presence, (at least part of that will be a blog here at Blog-City)  and then an in-person peer counseling group. We’ll see where it goes from there.

Otherwise, about six weeks ago, I launched a blog on cooking, the Elementary Chef, and just yesterday was asked to contribute material to Dean’s World, which is much more widely-read than the DLJ ever was. On Dean’s World I’ll be chronicling my efforts to get my abused men’s program up and running, as well as other things that present themselves.

Happy trails!

Renew! Redocorate! Rework!

08-16-06 9:12 A GMT-07

I've got a couple of book projects that need finishing, one of which is a resource manual for DAHM.  As you know, things are changing rapidly, as evidenced by these stories:

Wife charged with murder

Wife of former Seahawk Chad Eaton arrested

I'm also going to be doing some re-working of the blog, as Blog City has upgraded to a new version.

I have to say something here…

08-11-06 11:59 P GMT-07

There is yet another hunger strike by a disenfranchised father going on. I have been asked to support this action, and have ignored all requests.

That’s because this particular strategy has been proven wrong, not only by many good Irishmen in 1981 who might now be more concerned with the antics of their grandchildren had they lived. Also by a disenfranchised father I knew for some time.

His name was Len Miskulin. You will not remember him, since his work and his quest was to no avail. All that happened with Len was that he lost his kids, and lost his health.

He hung on for some 53 days, if memory serves. He had some publicity for a time, since he was the first; at least in the UK. He came out of it so damaged he told me if he’d known how bad it was he’d try something else.

It’s been about five years, and I’ve lost track, but if I could find him and drag Len here to the US, I’m sure he’d tell anyone trying this radical stunt to STOP!!!

Today there are far more effective ways to influence public opinion. On a personal level, the reality is that this kind of stunt only causes harm. You might get a couple of media mentions, but the truth is nobody today wants to hear about divorced men acting so irresponsibly they can’t even consider their own health.

That’s the way it plays.

Why on Earth would any court want to allow a man with so little concern for life to be the custodian of his children?

How does this make any sense???

It really doesn’t.

I know I got a lot of extremely angry and barely coherent e-mails from a guy. I remember asking a perfectly civil question, and he came back with nonsense. I was supposed to buy his full package without question.

Gentlemen, there are so many fucking loose cannons in this movement I despair of ever being able to make positive gain.

Now there are claimed anti-feminists supporting insanity, I have no idea what to think.

The mothers and wives of the 1981 Irish protestors had no benefits. Nowt but the body comin out after death.

Dave Winer is Right About Sexism

08-11-06 2:43 A GMT-07

Like a lot of other things, he's right about this, too.

Maybe I assign too much wonderfulness to this guy, but he was my blogfather in actuality. One day in early 2003, a media newsletter I got had a reference to Scripting News. Being a non-programmer myself, i wondered why it was this kind of deep geek lore merited a place among media references.

So I went, and read, and drank that particular Kool-aid. I've been a blogger ever since.

Entirely separate from anything Dave has ever done, I used my blog to work for men's rights, father's rights, and the most important : unserved victims of domestic violence. These were things I'd already been working on. I just used the blog to go further.

Even though we've exchanged a few e-mails over time, he still isn't quite sure who I am. That's OK, I really can't expect somebody who likely gets hundreds of real e-mails every day to focus on one quirky lady.

Yesterday he said this:

Men know what we have to do, we've had it drilled into us for at least a generation. But there's a long to-do-list for women, and because men have been forced into silence on this subject, that list hasn't had a chance to develop. Liz, it's time to bend over backwards to create safety for men to speak on this subject. Many of your colleagues are already doing this. There are still a few standouts, and you are one of them. No more gender-bashing, lecturing and name-calling, and no more tolerance for that. I will consider what you have said. Now it would be great if you would do the same.

The man understands the ideals of equality, and expects women to do the same. He is far more diplomatic and decent than I would be in the same situation.

As a woman of education and influence, I feel diminished and insulted by events such as BlogHer, because that is precisely what they are designed to do. They have been created in order to congregate angry women who feel the rules of society don't apply to them, add fuel to their discomfiture, and eventually verify their paranoid fears of an oppressive patriarchy.

They are certainly divisive. Feminism has always been about division, and disdain for those who will not believe. I wish those otherwise-intelligent, and decent women who have bought that mess of pottage that feminism really is would recognize that it's time to stop hating, time to stop blaming, and most important : time to stop setting women up as any kind of special class of anything!

...and let the rest of us live our lives with our men in peace.

There's a quite easy test to apply: if you think something said about a man is funny, try replacing a woman in there. If you think it's hateful when applied to a woman -- bingo! It's sexist.

I'm old enough to know that there are far more bad, hateful things being said about men today then there ever were said about women in the last forty years.

Nobody has any right to diss an entire class of people. Nor to make any presumptions about them.

I thank God that Dave Winer had the cojones to bring it up.

Storyblogging Carnival Needs Help

08-11-06 1:42 A GMT-07

Doc Rampage reports that only one entry was sent this time. That's not nearly enough! c'mon, kids, put on your writing boots and compose!

Remember, a short story can be as little as 500 words. That's called flash fiction. Everything does NOT hafta be a 30,000 word Heinlein piece.

Send here;

Dave Gudeman
http://docrampage.blogspot.com/

 

Category: Writing

The blogosphere vs. human nature

posted 04-17-06

Jeff Jarvis is talking about the disillusionment of some, who expected something quite different from the blogosphere than the way things seem to have worked out.

I define blogs now as people in conversation. It’s that distributed conversation Matt and Ken taught me about. Some people are thinking with the open-minded discipline Matt yearns for. Others are closed-minded black holes. That’s life. No medium is going to change that human nature. But it is exhilerating that we get to hear new voices of more people now — people like Matt.

I think that once you get past the general-interest or political blogs, you find something else, something that’s more in tune with a revolution in media. While it’s true you are going to see a reaction to, and a coloring of, just about every issue in line with the general political stance of the blogger, if you can get past the big names, what you may find are blogs that focus more on one issue. Then if you look at a whole conversation on a subject, through their links and those who are talking about them, (using something like Technorati or Del.icio.us,) you can get a lot of “sides” of an issue.

It’s not the bloggers themselves who are being more open-minded, it’s the system itself, which has the ability to both collect a lot of statements and reveal them, in a totally objective way, since it’s an automated system that has no opinion.

That’s why tags are so important, and so helpful. Before tags, what you got if you looked at Technorati was a bunch of blogs talking about and linking to a blogger. So it was the blog that was important, rather than the subject matter. (Most bloggers don’t bother to link to those who disagree with them, even if that is considered proper to do so.) Tags now give you the subject, and you can get a pretty good overview of an issue a lot more quickly than you could without them.

Sure, there’s still a lot of “echo-chamber” stuff going on, but in all that there are going to be some gems, a few original ideas here and there. The blogosphere gives everybody their chance to have their say, when ten years ago, or maybe even five, there was no way your average Joe could express an opinion – particularly an unpopular one – without  going through a series of filters and doing a lot of work to get that word out. Average Joe had to know somebody, or have a lot of money for publication costs.

In many years of activism for a variety of causes, the one constant I’ve found is that most people don’t give a flying flamingo about my issue. (Whatever that issue may be.) Yet when presented with the facts in a way that’s neither difficult nor expensive, those same people quickly form an opinion. Even better if they can form that opinion on their own, in their own time.

Everybody has, pretty much, just one or two things they care enough about to really look into. When they do choose to look into something, the availability is there. Even though it’s still referred to as “information overload,” because not everybody has developed the skill of discernment yet, that sheer volume of stuff is necessary and important. People are still unique individuals who have a need for all different kinds of information.

Some people become experts in their little niche, and so that’s what they write about.

I’m not disillusioned at all about the way things are going, in fact, I just keep finding more things to get excited about. The point is that everything is there where somebody can find it. People aren’t going to be any more open-minded or democratic than they ever were, but the technology is purely objective in a way only technology can be. We just need to learn how to work with it, and that takes time.

 

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