What is Domestic Violence? -- Your DV is not their DV
Commentary by Trudy W. Schuett
What do you think of when you hear the term “domestic violence”?
If the term provokes an image of a big, nasty man pummeling a defenseless woman you’re in the majority, but like the rest of the majority, you’d be wrong.
Today the term, “domestic violence” covers a wide range of behaviors, many of which have no relation or connection to actual physical battery. Such things as controlling finances, or being overly critical are now included, as is the concern on a woman’s part that she may, at some future time be beaten.
The definition in use today came about initially from the feminist perspective, which considers all men to be current or potential batterers, and all women to be current or potential victims. Even though this characterization may seem overly broad, and troubling from a more pragmatic perspective, it is the foundation upon which the overwhelming majority of domestic violence agencies and programs are built. Most of today’s experts in the field claim a greater or lesser degree of agreement with feminist ideals.
Thirty years ago, the feminist movement claimed the issue of domestic violence as a unifying and galvanizing issue for themselves, and they’ve retained a steadfast presence in any public discussion of the issue.
The 1970s was the decade when many of the social services programs we know today were also in their infancy. There was no internet, no instant fact-checking available to everyone, and so many of these emerging movements were able to deal in a little exaggeration and embellishment to get their point across. While most of the other groups managed to dial down the rhetoric as their agencies grew and flourished, the feminist activists never did.
Thus, we have the idea that there is some sort of epidemic of wife-beating going on, and the answer to the problem is an ever-increasing stream of cash flowing to various agencies. I still see erroneous statements and long-disproved factoids turn up in literature and presentations from various groups.
It is never made clear to the public that the domestic violence these agencies claim to have solutions for is not the same domestic violence the public is thinking of when they write their checks or contact their legislators.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and agencies all over the country are gearing up for fundraisers all month. As happens every year, spokespeople will be telling compelling stories of women who’ve been saved by their agencies. They will not tell you about the women who abuse their services, the working women turned away, or those people denied help due to their gender or that of their children.
They will also not tell you that objective research into the problem has virtually halted, and there have been no new approaches in thirty years.
So while you may think these organizations are protecting women from domestic violence, just what domestic violence do they have in mind?