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The DLJ Goes Dark

11-26-06 3:45 A GMT-07

This will be my last post here at the DLJ blog. My decision to discontinue posting here is actually far more positive than it may seem. That’s because my current situation will allow me to focus on the thing that got me into activism and publishing the DLJ in the first place.

There are others who are quite ably covering the issues, such as Teri Stoddard, Wendy McElroy, and of course, Men’s News Daily and Mensactivism

The hundreds of good people all over the world I’ve met in the years since the DLJ was first launched (in 2001 as an e-mailed newsletter) have all taught me a lot, and given me the tools which I can use to effectively run a program that provides practical help for a group of people that sorely need it.

There are far too many of those who’ve helped along the way to list by name but my gratitude for each and every one of you is boundless.

I will be focusing my efforts on setting up a program for abused men in my local area of Yuma, Arizona. Under the auspices of the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women, I will establish first an online presence, (at least part of that will be a blog here at Blog-City)  and then an in-person peer counseling group. We’ll see where it goes from there.

Otherwise, about six weeks ago, I launched a blog on cooking, the Elementary Chef, and just yesterday was asked to contribute material to Dean’s World, which is much more widely-read than the DLJ ever was. On Dean’s World I’ll be chronicling my efforts to get my abused men’s program up and running, as well as other things that present themselves.

Happy trails!

Renew! Redocorate! Rework!

08-16-06 9:12 A GMT-07

I've got a couple of book projects that need finishing, one of which is a resource manual for DAHM.  As you know, things are changing rapidly, as evidenced by these stories:

Wife charged with murder

Wife of former Seahawk Chad Eaton arrested

I'm also going to be doing some re-working of the blog, as Blog City has upgraded to a new version.

I have to say something here…

08-11-06 11:59 P GMT-07

There is yet another hunger strike by a disenfranchised father going on. I have been asked to support this action, and have ignored all requests.

That’s because this particular strategy has been proven wrong, not only by many good Irishmen in 1981 who might now be more concerned with the antics of their grandchildren had they lived. Also by a disenfranchised father I knew for some time.

His name was Len Miskulin. You will not remember him, since his work and his quest was to no avail. All that happened with Len was that he lost his kids, and lost his health.

He hung on for some 53 days, if memory serves. He had some publicity for a time, since he was the first; at least in the UK. He came out of it so damaged he told me if he’d known how bad it was he’d try something else.

It’s been about five years, and I’ve lost track, but if I could find him and drag Len here to the US, I’m sure he’d tell anyone trying this radical stunt to STOP!!!

Today there are far more effective ways to influence public opinion. On a personal level, the reality is that this kind of stunt only causes harm. You might get a couple of media mentions, but the truth is nobody today wants to hear about divorced men acting so irresponsibly they can’t even consider their own health.

That’s the way it plays.

Why on Earth would any court want to allow a man with so little concern for life to be the custodian of his children?

How does this make any sense???

It really doesn’t.

I know I got a lot of extremely angry and barely coherent e-mails from a guy. I remember asking a perfectly civil question, and he came back with nonsense. I was supposed to buy his full package without question.

Gentlemen, there are so many fucking loose cannons in this movement I despair of ever being able to make positive gain.

Now there are claimed anti-feminists supporting insanity, I have no idea what to think.

The mothers and wives of the 1981 Irish protestors had no benefits. Nowt but the body comin out after death.

Dave Winer is Right About Sexism

08-11-06 2:43 A GMT-07

Like a lot of other things, he's right about this, too.

Maybe I assign too much wonderfulness to this guy, but he was my blogfather in actuality. One day in early 2003, a media newsletter I got had a reference to Scripting News. Being a non-programmer myself, i wondered why it was this kind of deep geek lore merited a place among media references.

So I went, and read, and drank that particular Kool-aid. I've been a blogger ever since.

Entirely separate from anything Dave has ever done, I used my blog to work for men's rights, father's rights, and the most important : unserved victims of domestic violence. These were things I'd already been working on. I just used the blog to go further.

Even though we've exchanged a few e-mails over time, he still isn't quite sure who I am. That's OK, I really can't expect somebody who likely gets hundreds of real e-mails every day to focus on one quirky lady.

Yesterday he said this:

Men know what we have to do, we've had it drilled into us for at least a generation. But there's a long to-do-list for women, and because men have been forced into silence on this subject, that list hasn't had a chance to develop. Liz, it's time to bend over backwards to create safety for men to speak on this subject. Many of your colleagues are already doing this. There are still a few standouts, and you are one of them. No more gender-bashing, lecturing and name-calling, and no more tolerance for that. I will consider what you have said. Now it would be great if you would do the same.

The man understands the ideals of equality, and expects women to do the same. He is far more diplomatic and decent than I would be in the same situation.

As a woman of education and influence, I feel diminished and insulted by events such as BlogHer, because that is precisely what they are designed to do. They have been created in order to congregate angry women who feel the rules of society don't apply to them, add fuel to their discomfiture, and eventually verify their paranoid fears of an oppressive patriarchy.

They are certainly divisive. Feminism has always been about division, and disdain for those who will not believe. I wish those otherwise-intelligent, and decent women who have bought that mess of pottage that feminism really is would recognize that it's time to stop hating, time to stop blaming, and most important : time to stop setting women up as any kind of special class of anything!

...and let the rest of us live our lives with our men in peace.

There's a quite easy test to apply: if you think something said about a man is funny, try replacing a woman in there. If you think it's hateful when applied to a woman -- bingo! It's sexist.

I'm old enough to know that there are far more bad, hateful things being said about men today then there ever were said about women in the last forty years.

Nobody has any right to diss an entire class of people. Nor to make any presumptions about them.

I thank God that Dave Winer had the cojones to bring it up.

Storyblogging Carnival Needs Help

08-11-06 1:42 A GMT-07

Doc Rampage reports that only one entry was sent this time. That's not nearly enough! c'mon, kids, put on your writing boots and compose!

Remember, a short story can be as little as 500 words. That's called flash fiction. Everything does NOT hafta be a 30,000 word Heinlein piece.

Send here;

Dave Gudeman
http://docrampage.blogspot.com/

 

Category: Writing

Ignoring Family Violence Statistics

posted 06-27-05

by Richard L. Davis          

 

     Approximately two decades ago I was drawn, like a Bostonian to baseball, to the issue of domestic violence because the criminal justice system minimized, marginalized, and ignored victims of domestic violence.

 

     Today I remain interested, invested and concerned because women and children, with the help of our public policy makers and domestic violence advocates have been accepted as victims while males continue to be rejected.

 

     For reasons that escape my understanding, adult male victims continue to be minimized, marginalized and ignored by these same public policy makers and domestic violence advocates. As the father of three girls and two boys, I will continue asking for equity of behavior until all five of my children receive recognition.

 

     In recent public statements concerning the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) Senator’s Biden, Hatch and Specter demonstrate their continued ignorance of the issue and their distain for the victimization of men.

 

     Senator Biden said when introducing VAWA 2005 that, “The bill we are introducing today provides a comprehensive approach to combating domestic violence.” Biden never mentions the victimization of a single male by a female. Any mention of male victimization seems to be forbidden.

 

     Senator Hatch said, “In 2003, 27 Utahans died because of domestic violence, and far too many women live in constant fear and lack the means to get the help they so desperately need and deserve.” It appears, as Hatch omits any mention of males. Hatch apparently believes that no males died, none live in fear or any of them deserve or need help.

 

     Senator Specter said, “Women and children are assaulted in their homes, on the streets, in the workplace, and on campuses.” He also makes no mention of the “M” word. After all, in his and VAWA’s world, females are the victims and males the perpetrators.

  

     In June 2005 the Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics released the report, “Family Violence Statistics,” . This report documents that family violence, similar to violence in general, has dropped dramatically. It also clearly documents male victimization.

 

     However, it appears that Biden, Hatch and Specter or any of their staff have never read the report or if they have they just do not care about male victimization. Biden, Hatch and Specter seem oblivious to the fact that it is generally agreed, depending on the methodology of the study,  that men constitute from 15% to 50% of the victims of domestic violence.

 

     While the rates of initiation, perpetration and victimization for males and females appear to be similar in many surveys, few people argue that women suffer more injuries from physical assaults and more sexual victimization. 

 

     Surveys that include emotional and verbal abuse in their questions report the highest incidence rates. Surveys that limit their definitions to physical assaults or sexual violence report lower rates. Regardless of the methodology all report male victimization. 

 

     However, the only time the three senators or VAWA mention men is when they or VAWA want boys and men to engage in efforts to end domestic and sexual violence against women. It appears Biden, Hatch and Specter think boys and men are victims and females perpetrators so rarely that male victimization and female perpetration is too trivial to mention.

 

Facts Biden, Hatch, Specter and VAWA ignore in the above report:

 

ü      Murder accounted for less than half of 1% (0.3) of all family violence between 1998 and 2002.

ü      And 42% of the family member murder victims were male.

ü      Family violence accounts for only 11% of all reported and unreported violence between 1998 and 2002.

ü      Of that 11%, approximately one in every four victims is male.

ü      One in every four perpetrators of domestic violence is female.

ü      Approximately one in five persons arrested for assaulting a spouse is female.

ü      More than one in four persons arrested for assaulting their son or daughter is female.

ü      Almost one in three persons arrested for assaulting a parent is female.

ü      More than one in four persons arrested for assaulting a sibling is female.

ü      More than one in four persons arrested for assaulting other family members are female.

 

     VAWA wants to increase funding to $5 million a year for the National Domestic Violence Hotline. The National Domestic Violence Hotline website has a documented history of minimizing, marginalizing, and ignoring male victimization and female perpetration.

 

     These senators and VAWA also ignore the Department of Justice report, “Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence”  This report documents that:

 

ü      Approximately 1.5% of women and 0.9% of men say they were raped and/or physically assaulted by a partner in the previous 12 months.

ü      That 41.5% of women and 19.9% of men who were physically assaulted by a partner were injured.

ü      Because many victims are victimized more than once there will be approximately 4.8 million intimate partner rapes or physical assaults against women and 2.9 million against men.

 

     These senators and VAWA also ignore a key issue found on page iii in the Department of Justice report, “Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Violence Against Women,:

The data show that violence is more widespread and injurious to women’s and men’s health than previously thought — an important finding for legislators, policymakers, intervention planners, and researchers as well as the public health and criminal justice communities.

 

     Why do Biden, Hatch, and Specter and the legislation they sponsor ignore the important finding noted above? Michael S. Kimmel, a gender feminist and a professor of sociology, demonstrates far more wisdom than exhibited by the senators when he writes:

 

Men who are punched, slapped, kicked, bitten, or otherwise assaulted by their wives or partners are no less deserving of compassion, understanding, and intervention than are women who are so assaulted. And male victims deserve access to services and funding, just as females victims do. Nor do they need to be half of all victims in order to deserve either sympathy or services.

 

     Kimmel is willing to marginalize and minimize male victimization but, at least he does not ignore it and understands male victimization needs to be addressed. Biden, Hatch and Specter do not want to hear of it, see it, or speak of it. And their words and deeds document quite clearly they do not intend to provide any services or funding for male victimization.

 

 

     Biden, Hatch and Specter and the legislation they sponsor do not believe that the issue of male victimization is important and they and VAWA have decided to ignore U.S. Department of Justice data that clearly document male victimization.

 

     Biden, Hatch and Specter display an unacceptable lack of compassion and understanding, and they have chosen to ignore the facts concerning male victimization. Biden, Hatch and Specter have publicly minimized, marginalized and ignored male victimization. What say the other 97 senators? 

_________________________________________________________

Richard L. Davis is the author of Domestic Violence: Facts and Fallacies and the VP of www.Familynonviolence.org