Bay City Times
Sunday, January 16, 2005
Domestic violence isn't caused by anger, alcohol or stress.
It's all about control.
That's a chilling explanation from the experts on why some spouses beat and terrorize their partners.
Mostly, it's a guy thing.
About 92 percent of the people who beat or mentally torture their partners are men.
That has generally been understood over the years, even as society's tolerance for wife-beating has diminished.
Just a few decades ago, domestic violence was considered a family matter. Most police departments didn't even make an arrest when called to a house or apartment to stop a beating.
Thankfully, times have changed. Michigan has some of the best laws in the nation requiring police to arrest domestic violence suspects.
It's a crime.
A particularly horrific one.
Through the years, apologists for wife-beaters, and the men themselves, have blamed their actions on anger, stress, problems at work - even drunkenness, as if that were an excuse for anything.
Well, local state and national experts tell us, there are no excuses.
Domestic violence is a choice.
David J.H. Garvin, a domestic violence counseling expert in Washtenaw County, puts it in blunt terms:
"Battering is a way to get something accomplished with expedience."
It's a tool.
Other experts add to that.
An abuser may not look like a knuckle-dragger, but his attitudes are those of a cave man.
He's the king of his castle.
The spouse is his servant.
He uses fists and threats to make sure his status as "man of the house" isn't challenged.
Wife beaters, in the last analysis, may be fine folk at work, but monsters at home.
Domestic violence is way too common in Bay County.
Lately, police get anywhere from 43 to 59 domestic violence reports a month in Bay County. Bay City police average four or five domestic violence arrests each week.
The 40 beds at the Bay Area Women's Center are often all occupied.
We have no idea how many women remain hidden out there, terrorized by a husband or boyfriend, beaten into submission.
That's why we all must listen to the experts.
And stop making excuses.
That cool, calculated decision to terrorize your own wife, your own family, is pure cruelty.
Decent folk wouldn't treat their animals the way these guys tear into their wives.
So why would anyone - a friend, a family member or a neighbor - keep quiet about domestic abuse.
Call the cops.
There is no excuse for wife-beating.
Not one.
Editor
Tony Dearing, 989-894-9629, tdearing@bc-times.com
The Bay City Times
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Bay City, MI 48708-5853