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The DLJ Goes Dark

11-26-06 3:45 A GMT-07

This will be my last post here at the DLJ blog. My decision to discontinue posting here is actually far more positive than it may seem. That’s because my current situation will allow me to focus on the thing that got me into activism and publishing the DLJ in the first place.

There are others who are quite ably covering the issues, such as Teri Stoddard, Wendy McElroy, and of course, Men’s News Daily and Mensactivism

The hundreds of good people all over the world I’ve met in the years since the DLJ was first launched (in 2001 as an e-mailed newsletter) have all taught me a lot, and given me the tools which I can use to effectively run a program that provides practical help for a group of people that sorely need it.

There are far too many of those who’ve helped along the way to list by name but my gratitude for each and every one of you is boundless.

I will be focusing my efforts on setting up a program for abused men in my local area of Yuma, Arizona. Under the auspices of the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women, I will establish first an online presence, (at least part of that will be a blog here at Blog-City)  and then an in-person peer counseling group. We’ll see where it goes from there.

Otherwise, about six weeks ago, I launched a blog on cooking, the Elementary Chef, and just yesterday was asked to contribute material to Dean’s World, which is much more widely-read than the DLJ ever was. On Dean’s World I’ll be chronicling my efforts to get my abused men’s program up and running, as well as other things that present themselves.

Happy trails!

Renew! Redocorate! Rework!

08-16-06 9:12 A GMT-07

I've got a couple of book projects that need finishing, one of which is a resource manual for DAHM.  As you know, things are changing rapidly, as evidenced by these stories:

Wife charged with murder

Wife of former Seahawk Chad Eaton arrested

I'm also going to be doing some re-working of the blog, as Blog City has upgraded to a new version.

I have to say something here…

08-11-06 11:59 P GMT-07

There is yet another hunger strike by a disenfranchised father going on. I have been asked to support this action, and have ignored all requests.

That’s because this particular strategy has been proven wrong, not only by many good Irishmen in 1981 who might now be more concerned with the antics of their grandchildren had they lived. Also by a disenfranchised father I knew for some time.

His name was Len Miskulin. You will not remember him, since his work and his quest was to no avail. All that happened with Len was that he lost his kids, and lost his health.

He hung on for some 53 days, if memory serves. He had some publicity for a time, since he was the first; at least in the UK. He came out of it so damaged he told me if he’d known how bad it was he’d try something else.

It’s been about five years, and I’ve lost track, but if I could find him and drag Len here to the US, I’m sure he’d tell anyone trying this radical stunt to STOP!!!

Today there are far more effective ways to influence public opinion. On a personal level, the reality is that this kind of stunt only causes harm. You might get a couple of media mentions, but the truth is nobody today wants to hear about divorced men acting so irresponsibly they can’t even consider their own health.

That’s the way it plays.

Why on Earth would any court want to allow a man with so little concern for life to be the custodian of his children?

How does this make any sense???

It really doesn’t.

I know I got a lot of extremely angry and barely coherent e-mails from a guy. I remember asking a perfectly civil question, and he came back with nonsense. I was supposed to buy his full package without question.

Gentlemen, there are so many fucking loose cannons in this movement I despair of ever being able to make positive gain.

Now there are claimed anti-feminists supporting insanity, I have no idea what to think.

The mothers and wives of the 1981 Irish protestors had no benefits. Nowt but the body comin out after death.

Dave Winer is Right About Sexism

08-11-06 2:43 A GMT-07

Like a lot of other things, he's right about this, too.

Maybe I assign too much wonderfulness to this guy, but he was my blogfather in actuality. One day in early 2003, a media newsletter I got had a reference to Scripting News. Being a non-programmer myself, i wondered why it was this kind of deep geek lore merited a place among media references.

So I went, and read, and drank that particular Kool-aid. I've been a blogger ever since.

Entirely separate from anything Dave has ever done, I used my blog to work for men's rights, father's rights, and the most important : unserved victims of domestic violence. These were things I'd already been working on. I just used the blog to go further.

Even though we've exchanged a few e-mails over time, he still isn't quite sure who I am. That's OK, I really can't expect somebody who likely gets hundreds of real e-mails every day to focus on one quirky lady.

Yesterday he said this:

Men know what we have to do, we've had it drilled into us for at least a generation. But there's a long to-do-list for women, and because men have been forced into silence on this subject, that list hasn't had a chance to develop. Liz, it's time to bend over backwards to create safety for men to speak on this subject. Many of your colleagues are already doing this. There are still a few standouts, and you are one of them. No more gender-bashing, lecturing and name-calling, and no more tolerance for that. I will consider what you have said. Now it would be great if you would do the same.

The man understands the ideals of equality, and expects women to do the same. He is far more diplomatic and decent than I would be in the same situation.

As a woman of education and influence, I feel diminished and insulted by events such as BlogHer, because that is precisely what they are designed to do. They have been created in order to congregate angry women who feel the rules of society don't apply to them, add fuel to their discomfiture, and eventually verify their paranoid fears of an oppressive patriarchy.

They are certainly divisive. Feminism has always been about division, and disdain for those who will not believe. I wish those otherwise-intelligent, and decent women who have bought that mess of pottage that feminism really is would recognize that it's time to stop hating, time to stop blaming, and most important : time to stop setting women up as any kind of special class of anything!

...and let the rest of us live our lives with our men in peace.

There's a quite easy test to apply: if you think something said about a man is funny, try replacing a woman in there. If you think it's hateful when applied to a woman -- bingo! It's sexist.

I'm old enough to know that there are far more bad, hateful things being said about men today then there ever were said about women in the last forty years.

Nobody has any right to diss an entire class of people. Nor to make any presumptions about them.

I thank God that Dave Winer had the cojones to bring it up.

Storyblogging Carnival Needs Help

08-11-06 1:42 A GMT-07

Doc Rampage reports that only one entry was sent this time. That's not nearly enough! c'mon, kids, put on your writing boots and compose!

Remember, a short story can be as little as 500 words. That's called flash fiction. Everything does NOT hafta be a 30,000 word Heinlein piece.

Send here;

Dave Gudeman
http://docrampage.blogspot.com/

 

Category: Writing

Is Governor Napolitano being misled?

posted 04-21-06

In this week's e-mail to Arizonans, Gov. Napolitano announces another 2.8 million dollars down the rabbit hole of DV services. But wait -- according to her, it's all about services turning away people. Sure, DV shelters turn away people all the time, but not only due to lack of space. To keep their numbers up, they lump all those turned away for whatever reason in one big number.

Most of those refused services are refused simply because they don't fit the profile of preffered clients.  You must be an unemployed woman without older boys to access services. Anyone else is either relegated to a fleabag motel for a few days, or refused outright. Why doesn't the Governor know this?

Throwing more of AZ's taxpayer dollars at this problem is not going to solve it. Understanding the problem as it really is may.

Here's her letter:

Dear Friends,

In our state, a victim of domestic violence seeking shelter is turned away more often than she is taken in.  Two out of three women in Arizona looking for refuge from abuse don’t receive it because there simply isn’t any room for them.  No one should be driven back to the arms of their abusers because they have nowhere else to turn.  It is our duty to protect these women. 

I have made and will continue to make funding emergency shelter services—and working for domestic violence victims—a priority.  This year, I have proposed an additional $2.8 million in funding for emergency shelter.  I hope that women will soon have a safe place to stay, no matter what their circumstances. 

For many women, emergency shelter is just the beginning.  Victims of domestic violence need help to rebuild their lives.  A crucial step in the rebuilding process is finding a system of social support that includes transitional housing, quality healthcare, and a job. 

Strong social support systems help to prevent further abuse.  Increasing access to affordable, quality healthcare is especially important for women facing situations of domestic violence.  When women are less able to provide for themselves and their children, as is the case when insurance for children isn’t readily available, leaving an abusive situation becomes difficult.  Economic self-sufficiency is also critical to the well being of women and their children.  Women who have opportunities for employment are more likely to leave abusive relationships and help end the cycle of abuse.

The Governor’s Office for Children, Youth, and Families’ (GOCYF) Division for Women has been on the forefront of these efforts:  working with the Sojourner Center to develop and identify transitional housing needs; providing staff support to my Commission on the Health Status of Women and Families and my Commission to Prevent Violence Against Women; administering the Women’s Workforce Development Grant Program; and utilizing a $10,000 grant from the Sloan Centers on Innovative Training and Workforce Technology to develop online programs for low-income working mothers. 

In order for this system to truly be effective, we must make sure that these services are available statewide.  Protection from domestic violence should not be a privilege reserved for women in urban areas alone.  All women and children deserve to be kept safe.  The State Plan to End Domestic and Sexual Violence provides a blueprint to providing comprehensive statewide services for victims.  The plan, along with the State Agency Coordinating Team (SACT), which works to maximize resources to aid victims of domestic violence, helps ensure that all Arizona women have access to the assistance they need.  

This Saturday, I’ll be heading up Team Governor as we participate in the Walk to End Domestic Violence.  The proceeds from the walk will go directly to the victims of domestic violence and their children. 

As always, I appreciate your input, and encourage you to call my office at 602.542.1318 if you have questions or thoughts to share. Or, please visit our website at http://www.azgovernor.gov for information and news in state government.

Yours very truly,


Janet Napolitano

 My previous post - 10 Ways to Fix Domestic Violence Programs here

 

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